It’s NOT Your fault!!!

I had an entirely different post ready to go. But in light of this being the last week of Women’s History Month, I thought it would be in my best interest to write this post.

I am an avid watcher of the hit show Grey’s Anatomy. Tonight’s episode was extremely triggering, but it was an episode that I think the world should watch. It highlighted the struggles women go through EVERYDAY. The focus on tonight’s episode was sexual assault and rape, and how every single day, women go through these things and hide it because the world will somehow turn the narrative back on us and blame us for what happened to us.

As a victim of sexual harassment, this episode was very triggering. My scenario is nowhere near as serious or painful as the situations where women get raped or beat up after refusing to give men what they want. It broke my heart into millions of pieces. Women are almost never believed when we want to report these kinds of things, so we try to push it down and make it go away on our own. We begin to shut out the people closest to us so that they don’t find out and make us report it. The many showers that we take to try and wash off what happened to us but they never seem to work. We hear things like “Well if she didn’t wear that dress, he wouldn’t have approached her” or “She shouldn’t have agreed to go on that date with him.” As if the things that we wear, or going on a date with someone is our faults. We cannot control what our assailants are thinking right before they assault us, once we say no it is up to the other person to comply. When our no is ignored it becomes an offence.

I personally think that all justice systems need to do better when it comes to rape or sexual assault reports. Rape kits are done for evidence but there are instances where they won’t be included in the case and the assailant will get off because of a lack of evidence. Yes there are some cases where women are lying but rape accusations should be taken seriously. Women need to be heard and taken seriously when we come to authorities about things like this.

To all the women out there that have been a victim of rape or assault, and even those who, God forbid, might experience something like this, I want you to know that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. It’s not your fault that this happened to you, you couldn’t have known that it was gonna happen to you. You can talk about it at your own time, when you are ready. I know it’s hard but you should definitely consider going to the hospital and getting a rape kit done so that, when you are ready, there will be evidence to help prosecute the person who hurt you. But its all up to you. By speaking out there is hope that you will get justice and you can ultimately be a beacon of light for those who have been through something similar .


Also, we need to have more conversations with out sons about respecting when women say NO. They might have consented to it at first but we are all subjected to change our minds at any time. No you do not need to get written consent because we can always say NO. We do not wear our clothes to get attention from you, we do not do things solely for attention. We need to start getting on our boys the way we get on girls. These conversations NEED to happen.

Its okay to take your time and talk when you are ready. Your sisters stand with you in solidarity.

National Sexual Assault Hotline

Call 1-800-656-4673 Available 24 hours everyday

Photo Creds : Mihai Surdu on

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